“When I was born, my family lived in the Challenge area. Life in Challenge was fun and loud – you had the record sellers blasting loud music from morning till late, I had plenty to eat because my mum ran a restaurant and my late grandma didn’t live too far away so there was plenty of family and friends to play with each day after school. When I was about 6 years old, we moved to New Bodija.
Moving to Bodija provided a stark contrast – life was very very very quiet, family became more distant, every neighbour was either a professor or some renowned professional in their field. Then I concluded we had moved into the coven of intellectuals – and it did affect my cognitive development positively.
From having to scream in Yoruba, singing Obey, Wasiu Ayinde and Fuji Merenge and just being a child, which I deeply appreciate, I had to converse more in English to enjoy the company of our neighbours who typically had good foreign exposure via cable satellite and summers abroad.
Interestingly, even though many of the adults spoke Yoruba, my contemporaries conversed more in English and I found that a bit absurd but I quickly embraced my reality. Then the battle of who went to the better school was also quite intriguing. In all, it was fun. I had to leave Ibadan for my university education in Lagos and then left Nigeria after my NYSC for my postgraduate degree.
I have been in the UK for 8 years and I have come to fall in love with the order that typifies how the society works. Because of the way the system is designed to run, there is a greater sense of control and predictability about your time and life in general. I know I catch my train at X at a particular time to get to work at another set time. Even with disruptions, there will be typically be forewarnings and adequate information to help you plan your time or find alternative routes. Time is valued and an orderly society helps that a lot – it is a great feature I have come to appreciate.
Secondly, living in a multicultural setting has a way of expanding your worldview (if you allow it). The UK is a melting pot of cultures and it improves capacity for tolerance and the tendency to stop being judgmental because you know and understand people better. Black people account for 3.3% of the population of England and Wales; and while I am aware many Africans don’t mix properly, I have come to appreciate the different journeys of different tribes and cultures from around the world including their food, music and art. I have realised how more tolerant I have become since moving over.
People at home often assume that everywhere in the UK is like London. Not so. The United Kingdom is very big and comprises four countries – England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland whilst Great Britain comprises three countries – England, Scotland and Wales.
Scots differ from the Welsh and these like to maintain their distinct identities from the English. Different regions in these countries also have distinct accents akin at times to dialects as we have them in Nigeria. They are often very differently behaved and just unique in many ways even as they share many similarities. So not everywhere is like London or even London or remotely close to London. Consequently, experiences of living in the UK could be very wide and varied depending on where the individual lives.”
Upon my arrival in the UK, I stayed for a few weeks with my Uncle who lived in a predominantly white neighbourhood. It was a small community and we were the only back people there. I remember trying to catch a bus once. I had waited at the bus stop for a bit when a group of young white boys came towards the bus stop. I first noticed they wouldn’t come near where I was. As a JJC, I didn’t quite see anything wrong with it.
However, when the bus arrived, I noticed the bus driver was quite unfriendly towards me but he was warm to the white folks who had boarded before and after me. Then, as the bus moved, I looked outside and saw the boys cursing me out, pointing at me and calling me all sorts of names, making profane gestures. I could read their lips and the profanity they used against me. That broke me. I wasn’t sure what I had done to deserve such a treatment but it made me understand the racial tensions in the West. Whilst this isn’t typical of everyday life, the realities of institutional racism and the challenges of being a ‘minority’ became real.
Secondly, I didn’t quite understand the credit culture. It seemed like you could get ‘everything’ on credit. Then you pay back monthly. Coming from Nigeria which is still largely a ‘cash and carry’ economy it was the weirdest thing ever! Depending on individual circumstances, getting credit can be easy with the latest phones and gadgets also included in the package. Then the laborious journey of paying back begins. I could not wrap my head around this to the extent that I refused a phone contract for a while until I understood the benefits and implications of what I was getting into.
I remember vividly a 23-year-old graduate who was already in £60,000 hole from a combination of credit finances from gadgets to school fees etc. Then I realised, when you move from one extreme to another, your sense of personal discipline in all ramifications just has to be raised even higher. Remember, some of us were not privileged to have been taught how to handle money well, and suddenly I moved to a country where with an address and proof of steady income, I could have £2000 in my plastic card and can also have the latest gadgets on the same day – it was too much for me.
It was the same thing with the opposite sex – as an omo-boy, you suddenly could have girlfriends from different countries. Without a sense of personal purpose, vision, discipline and the right people, thing can spiral out of control very quickly.
The commonest assumption people at home in Nigeria make is that coming abroad means a person has officially ‘made it’ and life must be good. This is often based on the fallacy that the system works, so everyone is prosperous. How wrong! This system works but is also laced with its intricacies which could be a blessing or curse. The credit culture is one for example to the extent that people could take years to pay off their debts with crazy interests yet folks back home think that person is living a ‘good life’.
This is not to say there aren’t people who are doing fine (and there are many) but ask them about the high cost of living in an age where the standard of living is not necessarily getting much better, they will tell you how disciplined and smart they have had to get. The average family needs £40,000 per annum for a decent (just over broke) standard of living. Hence, it can be difficult to have many dependents in Nigeria, who think you are earning in gold and should as such stop being ‘selfish’. The truth is that a lot of people have to hustle to make it. In addition, visiting relatives and friends don’t have to come bearing gifts because they live abroad, we need to be considerate. So, if you have a relative doing well, and sending you funds and gifts from ‘the abroad’ –please appreciate them.
I miss waking up at 4am to iron my clothes before NEPA strikes. lol!
Nah, I honestly do not miss home because I come home very regularly and see my family and friends very often. Food, which could have been an issue, is readily available around in London and I get regular supplies from family and friends too.
(Reading, England 2019)
