(Photo credit – Lypix Photography)
“I found love at a time when I wasn’t looking for it anymore. I was already in my 30s and I had begun to embrace self-love. I was pouring all my love into being single and my job. You know, I had my me-time when I will go to the cinemas to see movies, give myself treats and all that. It was right when I was settling into the single life that one of my aunties called me. She said she wanted me to meet someone – a man. As expected, she said so many sweet things about the man. Me, I was not interested. I declined to meet the man but this Aunty of mine was the persistent type, the kind that doesn’t take no for an answer, so she kept pestering me about the man and her desire for me to meet him. In order to satisfy her so that she could get off my back, I agreed.
I got to my Aunty’s on the day of the meet and there he was, a tall, dark man. His face lit up as I entered. Over food, we discussed about a wide range of things. It turned out that we had so many mutual interests. For example, he would start a song from the 80s and I would sing along too. His favourites were mine, our perspectives on issues aligned. It was all just a very perfect dinner and the connection that we had was amazing. At that time, I had begun to tick my boxes and he was gaining grounds. When dinner was over, he mentioned to me that he was a widower and that he had two daughters.
Right there, I told myself in my head: “RonnieG, whao, slowwwwww down.” I would lie to you if I told you that I wasn’t scared. For a while, I tried to avoid having talks along the line of marriage. Instead, I focused on the friendship. We continued to relate with each other but I knew that at some point, I had to make a decision. I prayed about it and asked my Pastor to pray along with me. I also spoke with people whom I believed had the kind of experience that could guide me in making my choice given the peculiarity of the circumstances. Finally, I found my answer and it was a “yes”.
I was able to come to overcome my fears and find an answer because I had a solid understanding of who I was, where I was going in life and I knew my God. Knowing that I was going to be a mother to two daughters, I knew I had to love them and make them a part of my life. They had to be able to see just how much they meant to me and I wasn’t going to fake it. Knowing my God always helped me whenever things got tough or whenever we were at a deadlock or something. God’s wisdom always guided me to fit in into the picture till, finally we all blended as one family. Beyond just praying, I took (and take) practical steps in creatively finding solutions to whatever challenges were/are before me.
I love that God has given me a unique opportunity to be a part of an amazing man’s life and to be a part of the growing process of two awesome daughters. I see this as a chance to change the narrative of step-mothers being wicked to their step-children. By the time we got married, the girls and I had bonded so tightly that he even became jealous and was wondering why I had to be spending more time with them.